projects at the end of the school year
(Source: otterboxes, via danapoleon)
DON’T EVER ASK ANYONE IF YOU LOOK OKAY BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS LOOK FUCKING MAJESTIC. EVEN AT 5AM WHEN YOU GET UP TO PEE AND CATCH SIGHT OF YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM MIRROR AND YOUR HAIR IS EVERYWHERE AND YOU’VE GOT PILLOW CREASES ON YOUR FACE, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE OUT AND YOUR TOP IS DIRTY AND DOESN’T MATCH YOUR PANTS, EVEN WHEN YOUR DRINK IS DOWN YOUR TOP AND YOUR MAKE UP ACROSS YOUR FACE.
100% FUCKING MAJESTIC
An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.
Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old
Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes
I love spanish
names are fuckin weird, like your parents just choose a sound that identifies who you are as a human being for the rest of your life
I felt like a liar and a fraud every time I called my son by his name for the first week of his life. I wanted to take it all back and call him Baby until he was eighteen and could go off into the woods on his spirit journey and find his true name and come home and tell it to me.
damn that’s really poetic
the funniest part of macbeth is when the soldiers all cut a branch off a tree to hold in front of them while they march toward’s macbeth’s castle in hopes that he will somehow think they are all trees and not an army
the second best part is that it actually works
Technically any zoo is a petting zoo if youre not a pussy
(Source: toxicmarble, via damnroxanne)