projects at the end of the school year
youarefuckingmajestic: DON’T EVER ASK ANYONE IF YOU LOOK OKAY BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS LOOK FUCKING MAJESTIC. EVEN AT 5AM WHEN YOU GET UP TO PEE AND CATCH SIGHT OF YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM MIRROR AND YOUR HAIR IS EVERYWHERE AND YOU’VE GOT PILLOW CREASES ON YOUR FACE, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE OUT AND YOUR TOP IS DIRTY AND DOESN’T MATCH YOUR PANTS, EVEN WHEN YOUR DRINK IS DOWN YOUR TOP AND YOUR MAKE UP ACROSS...
octopenis: An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.
purgatorystuck: Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes I love spanish
ctrayn: truthisademurelady: meladoodle: names are fuckin weird, like your parents just choose a sound that identifies who you are as a human being for the rest of your life I felt like a liar and a fraud every time I called my son by his name for the first week of his life. I wanted to take it all back and call him Baby until he was eighteen and could go off into the woods on his spirit...
adamchanler: lady-tyrell: the funniest part of macbeth is when the soldiers all cut a branch off a tree to hold in front of them while they march toward’s macbeth’s castle in hopes that he will somehow think they are all trees and not an army the second best part is that it actually works
thelandoffakebelieve: Technically any zoo is a petting zoo if youre not a pussy
swagchat: two silks worms had a race. they ended up in a tie.
sadillite: all i do is sit around and eat and be sad im basically a more annoying version of a plant
dj-bsnow: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank You” will suffice. None of this “How did you get in my house” business. So rude
2awesomehistory: A communist stops his car in the middle of a roadway, the motorist behind him gets out and yells “HEY, QUIT STALIN!”
Reblog if you have boobs
simonavalle: love-the-thunderstorm: bestdayev-r: piercethesirens-in-onedirection: dancingontip-toes: modelmis-behavior: love-lives-to-hurt: mistize: one girl scrolled past this and woke up without boobs Forever reblog cuz I don’t wanna wake up without boobs. Hahahahaha I don’t care if this doesn’t go with my blog I’m not taking the chance I barely got boobs as it is I’m not...
trisarahdactyl: michaelceratops: osointricate: I wonder what President Lincoln would think about there being a movie about him killing vampires. “whats a movie” #’fuck you im not going into another theater’
biclopsdad: DO YOU EVER JUST SIT THERE AND THINK ABOUT HOW JOHN GREEN’S QUOTE “i fell in love like you fall asleep— slowly at first, then all at once” IS SO FRICKING TRUE BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU CAN JUST BE MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS THINKING “hey wow that’s a cute person” then BAM sudDENLY YOUR ENTIRE LIFE JUST GOT SUCKER PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY CUPID THE FUCKING WIZARD
mattfoundglory: the only reason i wear all black is so i can absorb the energy from the sun and become the most powerful being on the earth
i don’t think anyone really understands how much compliments actually mean to me like i usually brush them off with a joke and a quick “thank you” but really i remember compliments for forever so if you’ve ever complimented me or done something nice for me thank you so much wow
dirtybongobeats: lowkeat: Today in science we learned that you can never gain cold, you can only have an absence of heat; and it made me think that maybe hatred doesn’t exist, and there’s only an absence of love. this is the realest shit I’ve ever read
carlottathedragonwhore: scruffylookinnerfherder: freetheboobs: Imagine being free all the time. Then suddenly as you begin to grow and mature you are trapped in the dark, hidden away, suffocated and only fully released at night. As you continue to grow you may be forced into ridiculously small spaces, or constantly pushed around. That is the tragic life of a boob. #I don’t know what I was...
guncomfortable: clubbedsoda: the names bond covalent bond taken, not shared
School: please get a full night of sleep
School: but don't forget to do 876543 hours of homework
School: and study for tests
School: be a well rounded student by joining clubs
School: and participating in sports so you don't come home till 6pm
School: don't be late for school
School: but make sure you eat a full meal in the morning
School: kids need a balanced diet
School: here eat cardboard with red paint, it's called "pizza"
School: yeah you don't type and double space your paper i'm not counting it
School: but don't use the internet while doing homework
School: but hey we need to be more technology involved, let's put all of your assignments on the internet
reblog if your name isn't Ashley.
imgoingtopoopthere: immortal-goldfish: skadiyoko: pastassassins: 2,121,566 people are not Ashley and counting! We’ll find you Ashley. This post is scandalous. reblogging because ashley cant. ashley should be watching the fucking door, not reblogging things on tumblr
rabioheab: other girls: tanned, long hair, boys, texting, makeup, short shorts me: the new pope
i always get mad at myself for not talking to people but when i talk to people i get mad at myself because i dont know how to talk to people
90% of people marry their 7th-12th grade love....
feathured: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THINGS ARE GETTING DEEP ON MY DASH RN